With everything that has happened in Duluth over the past week, this message bears repeating: If we want better outcomes for our young people and our community, each of us must accept responsibility for helping make that happen.
To our young people: I push you to improve and hold you accountable because too many people are unwilling to do it. Being young does not make you invincible. In many ways, you are experiencing one of the most vulnerable stages of your life. That is why I try to provide structure and discipline. It is not because I do not want you to enjoy being young. It is because fun without boundaries can quickly become carelessness, poor judgment and destructive behavior.
Perfection is not the goal — at least not the world’s version of perfection. My hope is that you become everything you say you want to become and accomplish everything you say you want to accomplish. If you tell me that you want something better for your life, I will do everything within my power to help you get there. But I can only show you the path. I cannot walk it for you.
To parents: It is time to start parenting. Too many young people are headed down dangerous paths because adults would rather be their friends than risk offending them or pushing them to do better. Without structure and discipline, too many roads will lead our young people toward destruction.
Parents must model the behavior they expect from their children. If children see adults lose control, they will learn to lose control. If they see adults curse at people when a disagreement could have been handled differently, they will believe that is how conflict should be resolved. If they see adults showing little concern about school attendance, grades, graduation or respect for others, they will follow that example.
When young people see adults prepared to fight a child or another parent over a situation that never should have escalated to violence, they learn to respond to problems with violence. When they hear a parent repeatedly say, “I can’t handle these kids,” they learn that there will be few consequences for their behavior.
That leaves youth workers, educators, coaches, mentors and others trying to fill the void. I love the work that I do, but our young people eventually go home. If parents are unwilling to enforce the same standards they expect schools, programs and youth organizations to uphold, our collective efforts will continue to fall short.
Adults must stop allowing young people to curse in their presence without consequences. Stop treating middle fingers and gang signs in photographs as harmless behavior. Stop permitting young people to disrespect other adults and then defending them regardless of what happened.
Our young men need examples strong enough that gang members, drug dealers and those who exploit women do not become their role models. Our young women need examples that teach them their worth and show them that they never have to accept being treated as objects.
To the juvenile justice system: Stop coddling young people who repeatedly engage in serious and destructive behavior. That does not mean imposing the harshest possible punishment for every mistake. It means making consequences meaningful.
Juvenile detention is not supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Young people should not talk about being locked up as though it will be a walk in the park. Probation should not be easy or treated as an inconvenience. It should be an opportunity to teach accountability and demonstrate why a young person should never want to repeat the behavior that brought them into the justice system.
Politics cannot come before the welfare of our young people. This should not become an argument about what adults can or cannot say to Black, brown or white children. Every young person needs mentorship, love, structure, discipline and the tools necessary to become a successful adult. Those expectations should be applied fairly, consistently and with a genuine commitment to helping young people change.
We must also stop saying that someone needs to do better for our community when we are unwilling to examine our own behavior. Nothing will change until we change. We cannot continually blame other people or institutions for every place where we are failing. If we want our community to be viewed differently and treated better than it has been in the past, our actions must reflect the standards we say we value.
I will never stop pushing our young people, parents, institutions and community to become better versions of themselves. Some people may resent me during that process, but their success will remain my goal. I am willing to do whatever honest, responsible and constructive work it takes to help them reach it.
Editor’s note: This commentary was adapted from a public statement by Pez Davila and edited for length and clarity. It is published with his permission. Davila is a Duluth community leader, youth advocate and media personality. He serves as executive director of Neighborhood Youth Services, which provides mentorship, tutoring, career exploration and other resources to young people and families across the Twin Ports. Davila received a 2025 Duluth Peace Hero Award for his work with local youth.
